Lucky Fried Rice

Lately, while I've been making dinner I've been thinking about my blog. I've been keeping in mind how much of what I add and when. If I'm evening thinking about it, I grab my camera and take pictures of the process. But the other night when I made fried rice, I didn't bother. I suck at making fried rice. I'm not just saying, either...through many a trial and error, I KNOW I suck at making fried rice. For whatever reason, it NEVER turns out as well as my mom used to make. Assured of mediocrity, I just kinda threw stuff together, rice, carrots, old broccoli crowns, chicken, 2 tbs of bacon fat. Poof. Amazingly good fried rice. If only I had been paying enough attention to replicate it! Well...here goes my best recollection...

Inspiration: Dumb Luck
Time: 30-45 minutes
Difficulty: Everyone but me should find this easy
Special equipment: Very large skillet (Preferably cast iron)
Servings: 4

2 cups dried basmati rice, and left out to dry for 1-4 hours
2 Tbs. bacon fat (or 1 lb of bacon, cut into bits and fried crispy, drained with 2 tbs of fat reserved)
3 medium to small carrots, sliced into 1/4 inch rounds
1 large head of broccoli, cut into crowns
3-5 green onions, sliced into 1/4" rounds
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground cumin
1/4 tsp. turmeric
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
2 tbs. garlic chili paste
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup shelled peanuts
1-2 cups cooked meat diced into bite sized pieces (a great use for leftovers)

1. Over medium heat, fry rice and veggies in bacon fat until they start to brown. Stir with a flat metal spatula every minute or so so rice and veggies brown evenly.
2. Add spices and continue to fry and mix until rice is very fragrant. Spices will begin to stick to pan (and that's okay).
3. Add chili paste and soy sauce and mix well as the pan sizzles (the liquid at this point will mix with the spices stuck to the bottom of the pan and thicken into a little bit of a sauce)
4. Drizzle the beaten egg over the rice so that it fries in little dropped bits.
5. Add meat and continue to stir until meat is warm
6. Remove from heat and toss in peanuts (you can do this over heat too if you want to soften your peanuts)

Note: I usually eat mine drizzled in a spicy soy sauce, or with more chili paste to give it an extra kick. Cayenne works too.

Sunday Mac and Cheese

Contrary to popular belief, I don't stay out until 3am very often. The same can be said about sleeping until noon. However when I do the former, I do the later. Such was the case Sunday morning on into Sunday afternoon after a late night of ro-sham and rock band. When I did make my way out of bed Sunday I was HUNGRY. I didn't have any of the typical breakfast makings (things like bacon, eggs, or bacon), so instead I made vat of Mac and Cheese that was spicy and delicious, and easy like Sunday morning.

Inspiration: No Eggs
Time: 30 minutes
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: Flat Whisk
Servings: 4

Ingredients:
1 lb pasta (mini penne or shells are my favorite)
2 tbs butter
2 tbs flour
1.5 C milk
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. onion powder
1/2 tsp. mustard powder
1/2 tsp. chipotle powder
1/4 tsp. ground cumin
1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper
3/4 C sharp white cheddar cheese, grated
3/4 C parmesan cheese, grated
1 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half
1 large handful spinach, chiffonade-ed

1. Bring 6 cups or so of water to a boil in medium to large pot. Add a good hefty pinch of salt, and then noodles. Cook until pasta is done. Drain, and set aside
2. In a small sauce pan, melt butter over medium-low heat. Add flower and stir continuously with a flat whisk until flour butter paste is a golden brown color. (If you don't have a flat whisk, your next best option is a fork, or normal whisk. I don't recommend using a spoon.) Add milk 1/4 cup at a time, stirring constantly in between until milk is incorporated and paste comes back together. When all your milk has been added, you'll have a nice velvety white sauce.
3. Add spices and cheese. Stir until cheese has melted in. If the sauce is too thick for your taste, you can add more milk. If it is too thin, continue to cook over low head stirring occasionally.
4. In a large bowl combine pasta, sauce, tomatoes and spinach.
5. Optional: Some people choose to put the mac and cheese into a lightly greased 9x13 pan, cover with breadcrumbs, lightly dust with grated cheese and bake in a 375 degree oven for 30 minutes. But I wouldn't recommend that. It's hard to wait another half hour to eat.

Note: You can mix almost any combination of stuff into this and it's great: veggies (mushrooms, broccoli, squash work very well), cheese (cheddar, bleu, gruyere), meat (I like bacon, sausage, left over turkey or chicken breast, pork, roast beast, or bacon), and toasted nuts (like hazelnuts or pecans) also add a nice variation. You should play with spices too. Curry is especially good with a yellow cheddar sauce and chicken.

Grilled Chicken w/ Tomatoes and Feta

So. What does one do with mounds of tomatoes from one's garden? I wouldn't know. This year my tomatoe plants are PATHETIC! That being said, when I do have lots of tomatoes, here is a quick and easy recipe.

Inspiration: a recipe from Gourmet (I think) and lots of fresh tomatoes
Time: 45 minutes
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: grill
Servings: 2

Ingredients
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Salt & pepper
2 whole tomatoes chopped & drained
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/4 cup fresh basil, sliced thin (opt)
Extra virgin olive oil

Rub the chicken with salt & pepper. Cook on grill until done. Mix together the tomatoes, feta and basil. Drizzle oil over it & mix in. Serve w/ chicken.

NOTE: The original recipe called for marinating the chicken in white wine with chopped fresh herbs and salsa was just tomatoes & feta. It is very good that way too. I will sometimes rub a mixture of fresh herbs, garlic & salt and pepper & omit the basil. Actually you could do any combination of the above!

Grilled Portobello Sandwiches

On Tuesday night, I made grilled portobello sandwiches for my friends Eric and Robyn while Eric told stories of his thrilling (and in some cases, death defying) sailing voyage across the Atlantic with his father.

I decided to make the grilled portobello sandwiches based on the rave reviews from some friends I made them for the year before. I figured that if I were to hearing stories of glory, the least I could do is reciprocate by providing amazing food. Sadly, my recreation of the sandwiches did not go to plan. Don't get me wrong. They were good. Just not as good as they were the last time I made them for people, and I can't remember what I did. However, this is a great starting point, and I highly recommend suggestions for how to make it better.

Inspiration: unknown food restrictions of friends (no dairy apparently)
Time: 1 hour
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: grill, grill screenServings: 4

Ingredients:
3 large Portobello Mushrooms, stems removed
4 garlic cloves
1/4 tsp salt
2 springs fresh rosemary, removed from stem and chopped
1 tsp mustard
1/4 cup olive oil
2 tbs balsamic vinegar
1 red onion, peeled and sliced into 1/2" rings
1/2 tsp cumin
4 thin slices of pancetta, fried crispy
1 ripe avacado, slide thinly
1 tomato, sliced
4 slices parrano cheese
4 ciabatta rolls, sliced in half

1. Mash Garlic to a paste with salt. Divide paste in half. To one half, add rosemary, mustard, and 1/8th cup of olive oil, and mix very well. Pour over the underside of the mushrooms so that the comb absorbs the oil mixture. Use a little oil to coat the smooth side of the mushroom

2. To the other half of garlic paste mix cumin, pepper to taste and 1/8th cup olive oil and mix very well. Toss with onions

3. Over medium heat, grill onions on grill screen until tender. Remove and let sit until you build your sandwiches.

4. Place mushrooms on the grill, smooth side down. Grill for 10 minutes and flip. Grill for another 2-3 minutes. Remove from grill and slice into 1/2 slices.

5. Toast ciabatta rolls on grill, cut side down. (note: I find it's tastiest to brush the cut side lightly with olive oil and sprinkle lightly with salt)

6. Assemble sandwiches including avocado, tomato, onions, pancetta, cheese, and grilled portobello slices.

Baked-Fried Chicken

Baked-Fried Chicken isn't as gross as it sounds. You don't bake chicken that's already been fried. You baking breaded chicken instead of frying it. Tres Healthy, no? And it's nearly as good as the real thing (well...kinda), and way better than the overly salty Shake and Bake. This is a great winter dish when it's too rainy/cold to grill outside.

Inspiration: A childhood Staple
Time: 45 min
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: three shallow bowls (soup plates)Servings: 2

Ingredients:
2 chicken Breasts, washed and patted dry
1/4 cup flour
1 egg beaten
1 cup panko (Japanese breadcrumbs)
2 tbs dried Parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp ground paprika
1/4 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1/4 tsp ground pepper
1 pinch salt
1/2 lemon, juiced

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a baking sheet.
2. Add flour to first shallow bowl. Add egg to second shallow bowl. Add remaining dry ingredients to third shallow bowl, and mix.
3. Dredge chicken breast in flour coating entire breast. Then dredge in egg, coating entire breast. Finally, dredge in breadcrumb mixture and place on baking sheet. Repeat with second breast. Sprinkle top of breaded chicken with lemon juice.
4. Bake until chicken is done, but not over cooked 20-25 minutes.

Note: I mix up the spices I add to the panko depending on my mood. I like it spicy, so I usually add ground chipotle powder. I also regularly add ground mustard and sometimes ground cumin and coriander.

Leftover Pasta

So....as promised in my earlier post:
Inspiration: Leftover Acini di Pepe Pasta
Time: 20 min
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: none
Servings: 2

Ingredients:

Leftover Acini di Pepe Pasta (or any other leftover pasta)
1/2 cup artichoke hearts, drained & quartered
1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes in oil, drained
2 Italian sausages, casings removed (I used leftover I had in the freezer)
1 small onion
Parmesan cheese

Saute the sausage, breaking into crumbles, until browned. Drain. In a little olive oil (or sausage grease if you want to be really bad), saute the onion until cooked. Add the left over pasta and sausage and cook until heated through. Add the artichoke hearts and sun-dried tomatoes & heat through. Serve with grated Parmesan cheese.

NOTE: my pasta already had garlic, kalamata olives and feta cheese in it or I would have added those as well.

Triple Berry Crisp

I have three best friends that I've had since Kindergarten, two of which live in Portland and one that lives in Manhattan. We don't know why our dear Jessie would choose to live in such a dismal, dirty, rat-race of a metropolis; something about culture, good job opportunities, thousands of fantastic restaurants at your disposal (many of which deliver in under three minutes)... bah. Fortunately, she still comes to visit us twice a year and we do our darndest to lure her back: bring her to new PDX hot spots, go on long drives to the Oregon coast (kicks the Jersey Shore's butt), and cook for her, as we determined in sixth grade - when she made "sugar" cookies with 2 cups of salt - that she cannot do it for herself. She'll be in town soon, so I'm excitedly planning trips, cleaning up the house, and dusting off my recipe card for berry crisp, her favorite. Since the berry season is now in full swing, I thought I would pass this along to everyone...

Triple Berry Crisp

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups fresh blackberries
1 ½ cups fresh raspberries
1 ½ cups fresh blueberries
4 tablespoons white sugar
3 tablespoons instant tapioca

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups rolled oats
1 ½ cups packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 ½ cups butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, gently toss together blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, white sugar and instant tapioca beads; set aside. In a separate large bowl, combine flour, oats, brown sugar and cinnamon. Cut in butter until crumbly. Press half of mixture in the bottom of a 9x13 inch pan. Cover with berries. Sprinkle remaining crumble mixture over the berries. Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 40 minutes, or until fruit is bubbly and topping is golden brown.

I bet this would go really well with home-made chocolate raspberry swirl ice cream... anyone have a recipe for that??? ;-)

Antipasti Pan-Bagnat

So. Since last Saturday, I have been living in a dusty, tenuous environment rife with stress, unexpected destruction and tearful recriminations. No, I've not joined the Army and been deployed. I've been remodelling my house. It'll look fabulous. Really. It will. When it's done. Sigh.

Anyway. Since I've been without a stove/oven for the past 6 days, I've had to be very organized in planning my meals. Everything had to be cheap (since we'll soon have fabulous new bamboo floors, we're now dirt floor poor) and everything had to grillable (Grill-able. That's probably not a word, huh?)

We had grilled veggie sandwiches one night, then dumped the left-over veggies onto pizza crusts and grilled those the next night. And I made a surprisingly successful grilled taco salad. Luckily, my dear brother Goose had offered to cook me dinner one night, so I only had to plan 5 meals (ok, 4 meals - we went out to eat once. You would too.) But now, dear brother Goose has ditched me, bailed, tossed me over for the Portland Ultimate Frisbee Freaks (PUFF. Heh.) I have nothing fresh in the fridge. No stove upon which to cook. Oh woe is me.

But not being one for too much self-pity (it's bad for the complexion) I got over myself and my brother's betrayal and concentrated on what I had going for me: a well stocked pantry. Pan-Bagnat means "wet bread" and is a sandwich that is traditionally stuffed with Salade Niçoise. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I HATE wet bread. But this sandwich doesn't get soggy. If you use a really good bagette, the crumb becomes infused with the antipasti's oils so that the bread becomes soft and unctious, but the crust stays crispy-crunchy. It was pretty damn good for a total fluke.

Inspiration: A bailing brother
Time: 20 minutes active, 120 minutes total
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: Plastic Wrap and something long and flat and heavy... like a cutting board!
Servings: 2

Ingredients:

1 really good quality baguette - you should always keep a couple of these in the freezer
1/4 cup pepperoni, thinly sliced
1/2 cup sundried tomatoes (I prefer the the fresh sundried tomatoes, not packed in oil. But you can use those too in a pinch.)
1 8 oz jar marinated artichokes, cut into quarters - reserve the marinade
1/4 cup kalamata olives, pitted and corsely chopped
1/2 cup fresh basil, chiffonade (chiffonad'ed? - cripes, just slice it thin)
1/4 cup shredded parmesan cheese (balls of fresh mozzarella or diced provolone would also be really good in this.)
2 T really fruity extra virgin olive oil or to taste. This amount depends on what type of sundried tomatoes you use and how oily your artichoke marinade is.
Fresh cracked black pepper to taste

You could also add roasted red peppers, pickled asparagus spears, or omit the meat and go veg.

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Toast the baguette for about 1o minutes, until golden and crispy.

While the baguette is toasting, make your antipasti stuffing. Toss all the above ingredients, save the oil, in a small bowl. Add about half of the artichoke marinade to the mixture and stir until well combined. Now, consider your oil options. You want to add enough oil to create a cohesive mass without drowning the veggies; if things start to float - you've gone too far. Add a bit of cracked black pepper to this and set aside. What? you want to add salt too? Well sure you can - if you're on one of those wacky dehydration diets. Otherwise, the pickled and brined veggies in this are plenty salty on their own.

While the baguette is still warm, slice in half, then lengthwise, leaving a hinge. Stuff the two halves equally with the antipasti filling. Place one sandwich half on a sheet of plastic wrap. Tightly wrap the sandwich like you would a sushi roll. Repeat with the other sandwich. Lay your heaviest cutting board on top of the sandwiches and press down firmly for a few seconds. Let the sandwiches sit for 1 hour at room temperature (so that the bread gets all oily and delicious). Eat!Enjoy!

Blue Cheese Slaw

In the summer between high school and college, I had a job as a produce clerk at a local Albertsons. I hated it so much that I created an alter ego to help me survive my shifts. From 2-11pm M, W, F, Sat, Sun, I was Super Produce Boy and it was my duty to keep the Northern Vancouver area safe from moldy fruits and vegetables. Last night, in need of veggies for dinner at my folks' place, I did the unthinkable...I went back.

Like Superman returning to Metropolis years later, I was dismayed by all the little uglies that had taken over in my absence. All the good work I had once done was forgotten. I did what I could to rescue these few bits of life that remained(a half a head of purple cabbage, a lone carrot, a misshapen cucumber and a handful of green onions,) and sadly turned my back on a store that I can help no longer.

Inspiration: No Veggies in Fridge
Time: 20 minutes
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: A really big bowl
Servings: 4-6

Ingredients:
1/2 head of red cabbage, cored and shredded
1 Carrot, outer peel removed, and shredded using peeler
3-4 Green Onions, sliced thin
1/2 Cucumber, sliced thing (I cut the slices in half too)
1/2 cup blue cheese crumbles
2 cloves garlic
1/4 tsp. salt
1 Tbs tangy mustard (I like to use European mustard if I have it)
1/4 Tsp. thyme (dried or fresh, chopped finely)
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
2 tbs blue cheese crumbles
2-4 Tbs. Olive Oil

1. Mash garlic to a paste with the salt. Add mustard and thyme and mix well. Add vinegar and mix well. With a fork, mash 2 tbs blue cheese crumbles into the vinegar mixture until incorporated. Then slowly add 2 tbs olive oil using a whisk or a fork to incorporate the oil into the mixture. Taste the dressing. Some people like to mask the stark vinegar flavor by adding more oil...but I don't recommend that
2. Toss slaw ingredients with dressing.

Grilled Pesto Toasts

I think it's funny that all winter long, I dream about the warmth of summer. I imagine myself sitting on my back deck in shorts and a shirt, enjoying a warm summer breeze and sipping on a margarita, gnashing on pork and pineapple kabobs. It's like I forget that it's going to be HOT in the summer, and that if I spend too much time in direct sunlight I burst into flame. Such was the case last night. It was darn hot in our house, and I was hungry (muddled mint of mojitoes does not a salad make.) All I got out of my freezer, aside from 5 minutes in a cold place, was a bag of frozen pesto cubes I made last summer. I figured they would be perfect as a variation on garlic bread to go along with a Pork chop smothered in bbq sauce.

Inspiration: Frozen Pesto
Time: 20 minutes
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment: Frozen Pesto, Foil
Servings: 6-8

Ingredients:
1 loaf of French bread, sliced
2 cubes of pesto
2 Tbs. olive oil
(Note: you can substitute 1/2 Cup fresh pesto instead of the frozen pesto and olive oil)

1. Spread pesto evenly on one side of bread slices
2. Wrap in tin foil
3. Cook on grill on in oven for 10-15 minutes

Planked Salmon Panini

So. What does one do with leftover cedar planked salmon with lemon viniagrette? I had that and leftover acini di pepe pasta with garlic and olives (Gourmet, June, 2008) in the fridge. We also had a very nice young man come over to give us an estimate to paint our house that took until 8:00. What to do???? (Not what you'd expect.)

Inspiration: Leftovers in the fridge, late getting started and one very hungry husband
Time: 20 minutes
Difficulty: easy
Special equipment; Panini or grill pan
Servings: 2

Ingredients:
3 green onions, chopped
2 tablespoons capers chopped
1/2 teaspoon fresh dill (or dried to taste)
1 teaspoon fresh parsley
3 tablespoons cream cheese
1 teaspoon dijon mustard
salt & pepper to taste
several drops of lemon juice (if you have it)
1/2 cup cooked salmon
1/2 avocado, sliced
sliced bread
olive oil

Mix the first 9 ingredients. Brush one side of each slice of bread with olive oil. Spread the salmon mixture on the unoiled side. Place several slices of avocado on top. Top with another slice of bread, oiled side out. Place on hot grill pan & grill til golden. Flip & grill other side until golden. Serve with a side salad.

Stay tuned for what I do with the leftover Acini di Pepe Pasta!

Steak Salad

"You've got to be fracking kidding me!" That was my reaction when the sour butcher at Whole Foods said that his flank steak was selling at $14/lb. I couldn't believe it. The Flank used to be the budget cut of meat. When I asked about skirt steak, he huffed and told me it was an inferior cut of meat, and that they didn't carry it for their consumers benefit. Little did he know that a skirt steak would have made my belly very happy. Instead, I was left peering into the meat locker looking for a cut of meat I could grill up for my steak salad that wasn't going to cost me more than a gallon of gas. I settled on a 1/2 pound cut of London Broil for $3.93 and decided that, from now on, instead of walking to the Whole Foods 7 blocks from my house, I will ride my bike the the New Seasons up the street. At least at there I get my meat handled the way I want it with a smile.

Inspiration: Antonia's Rice Salad from Season 4 Top Chef
Time: About 1 hour
Difficulty: Easy
Special Equipment: Grill/Grill pan
Servings: 4

Ingredients:
1/2 lb skirt or flank steak (substitute what steak you or your butcher has available)
1/2 tsp. Ground Cayenne Pepper
1/2 tsp. Garlic Powder
1/2 tsp. Ground black pepper
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. Ground Cumin
1/4 tsp. Ground Coriander seeds
1 head red leaf lettuce (Mine was out of my garden) - Washed and ripped into bite sized pieces
1 heaping handful baby spinach leaves (Mine was out of my crop share)
1 heaping handful of sugar snap peas (Again, straight out of my garden) -
1/4 cup Kalamata Olives, pitted and roughly chopped
1 tomato diced
Blue cheese to desired amount (I used lots because I like blue cheese
Your favorite balsamic vinaigrette -or-
2 cloves garlic
1/4 tsp. salt
1 Tbs tangy mustard (I like to use European mustard if I have it)
1/4 Tsp. thyme (dried or fresh, chopped finely)
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
2-4 Tbs. Olive Oil


1. Wash steak and pat dry with a paper towel. Mix cayenne, garlic powder, pepper, salt, cumin and coriander together in a small bowl. Sprinkle evenly over all sides of the steak and rub into meat. Let sit for 15-20 minutes. Heat grill on high. When you put meat on grill turn down to medium, and cook to desired doneness. I cooked mine medium rare so that it was still very pink in the middle. Pull off the grill and let sit while you pull together the rest of the salad.

2. If you are making your own balsamic vinaigrette, mash garlic to a paste with the salt. Add mustard and thyme and mix well. Add vinegar and mix well. Then slowly add 2 tbs olive oil using a whisk or a fork to incorporate the oil into the mixture. Taste the dressing. Some people like to mask the stark vinegar flavor by adding more oil...but I don't recommend that.

3. Thinly slice your meat. I usually cut each slice into bite sized pieces, because I don't like to use a knife to eat my salad.

4. Toss all salad ingredients in a large bowl, but do not toss in tomatoes and dressing in until ready to serve, or you'll wilt your lettuce and spinach.

Healthy Sailor Colombian Salad

I add the "Healthy Sailor" to this title not because the vitamin-rich fruit and veggies ward off scurvy, but rather in homage to the originator of this recipe: my dear Colombian friend Maria... and her "colorful" language. When I met Maria, she spoke little English and I spoke little Spanish, but I soon learned the hard way that every other word out of her mouth was dirty (Hey guys, what does ___ mean?). Her sailor language may have turned people off, but her delicious summer salad always brought them back. Here is my interpretation. Spice it up with 1/4 cup fresh chopped cilantro and some expletives and you'll have Maria's original recipe.

Healthy Sailor Colombian Salad
Inspiration: A hot sunny day in Portland (this salad is really refreshing)
Time: 10 minutes, let salad sit in fridge if you want the flavors to marinate more
Difficulty: Oh so easy
Requirements: Chef's knife (according to Anthony Bourdain, this is all you'll EVER need)
Serving Size: 6-?

Ingredients:

1/2 head green cabbage
1 tart green apple
1 crisp, sweeter apple (I like Fuji)
1 mango
1 can mandarin oranges
Juice of 1/2 lemon
3 tbs. olive oil

Chop the cabbage and apples into bite-sized pieces... but don't "slaw" the cabbage. Sometimes I peel the green apple if the skin is particularly tough or waxy (as granny smiths tend to be). Peel and cube the mango. Mix all of these chopped ingredients together and add the mandarin oranges (drained). Dress the salad with the lemon juice and olive oil.

You can play around with the citrus fruit ingredients here, but I find that the crisp apples are a must-have. Sometimes I add avocado... sometimes I substitute fresh nectarines for the mandarin oranges... it always turns out refreshing.

Falafel Sandwhiches

When making dinner, there are some things you don't want to do. You don't want the preparation to take you until bedtime before you can sit down and eat. You don't want the meal to fall apart and make a mess in your lap. And you don't want it to make you sick. I miss fired on all three accounts last night. But let's not focus on that, because the concept was good even if the execution was not stellar (and by not stellar, I mean dreadful)

Last night, my girlfriend and I decided to make falafel sandwiches based on a really fantastic grilled falafel sandwich at the Aladdin Cafe in NE Portland. Their sandwich has light and flavorful falafel, yummy tsatsiki sauce, and amazing fresh pita. Apparently this is not so easy to recreate. I undercooked my falafel which absorbed the not-hot-enough oil it was fried in and put it in store bought pita that fell apart in our hands. If Jenny hadn't made the tsatiki sauce the meal would have been a complete failure, especially given all the oil in the falafel gave us both stomach aches.

But hey, with failure comes education. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make falafel again. I'm going to pan fry rather than deep fry and I'm going to go to a Greek store (or let's be honest, the Aladdin Cafe) and buy real pita. Then, I'm going to post the recipe so you too can make your own falafel sandwiches. In the mean time, go to the Aladdin Cafe to have a little bit of heaven. Just don't order the Lebanese beer. It's gross.

Inspiration: Grilled Falafel Sandwich at the Aladdin Cafe ( 6316 NE 33rd Ave, PDX 97211)
Time: 20-30 minutes (this includes sit down, order and eating)
Difficulty: Far easier than making it yourself
Special Equipment: transportation, debit card
Servings: 1 order feeds one person. (plus every meal comes with fresh pita and humus!)

Recipe to come...

Quick and Dirty Noodles

My son recently ordered custom window coverings for me and called me yesterday to tell me that they were ready. He said that if I made him dinner, he would come over and hang them for me. My answer? "What do you want?" He requested Korean Shortribs, Quick & Dirty Noodles and sugar snap peas. So, the meat is marinating and while I don't have the peas, I do have some killer green beans from the Farmer's Market, that I will toss with olive oil and sea salt and throw on the grill with the beef. Which leaves the noodles. I came up with this recipe years ago when I didn't have a pot to pee in (but I did have one to cook in).

QUICK & DIRTY NOODLES

Inspiration: Dried ramen noodles at 10 cents a pack and little money in the bank.
Time: 15 minutes (that's the "quick" part)
Difficulty: Easy (can you open a bag of noodles and a can of broth?)
Special Equipment: 1 pot and 1 pan
Servings: 4

Ingredients:
2 packages dried ramen noodles (any flavor...it won't matter)
3 tablespoons butter
a few drops of sesame oil
1-2 garlic cloves minced
1/4 cup low sodium soy sauce (that's the "dirty" part)
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
1/8th teaspoon hot pepper flakes (optional)
1 can low sodium chicken broth

Pour the chicken broth into a sauce pan and add about 1/2 can water. Heat until boiling. Open the packages of noodles and throw away the little spice packet (now you know why any flavor works.) Crush the noodles if you want. Melt the butter in a small frying pan with the sesame oil. Add garlic and saute until golden. Add the sesame seeds and hot pepper flakes and fry a little longer. Add the soy sauce and about 1/4 cup of the chicken broth (be careful....it will splatter all over your stove and your shirt...which is why all my shirts have splatter stains on them.) Set aside. When the broth is boiling, add the noodles and take off the heat. Let sit for a few minutes until done to your liking and most of the liquid is absorbed. Drain and put back into your pan. Pour the soy mixture over the noodles and toss to coat.

Note: I use black sesame seeds for a little contrast.

Stuffed Bakers

I have spent the last week in foodie bliss, enjoying the unrivaled culinary glories of the Bay Area and Napa Valley, California. I have eaten Xiao Long Bao so delicate and gingery, the taste lingered for hours on my tongue and I didn't care. (No. That's not gross.) I drank rich, nectar-y wines in the valley and got amazing deals because my mother-in-law, (who should NOT be allowed to drive in San Francisco. Ever.) works for a winery. And I enjoyed a mind-blowing and completely meat-free meal at Ubuntu and saved the smuggled bacon bits (just in case!) for the plane ride home. It was glorious, magical and totally satisfying.

May I just say, neener-neener-neener?

And now I have returned home to find the contents of my refrigerator resemble those surrealist paintings of the early 20th century that I recently viewed with avid delight at the SFMOMA -so colorful, so textured and so completely unidentifiable.

The fridge is now clean and sanitized (I had to bribe my husband) and I'm left with a handful of slightly wilted items and a grumbly belly. All that's left for dinner is the following:

4 large russet potatoes (sprouting eyes removed with the tip of my fingernail - you could use a serrated spoon too, I suppose.)

1 large onion, diced (leafy green center removed to the compost, post-haste)

1 clove garlic, chopped fine

2 medium heads of broccoli, florets chopped into 1/2" pieces (a surprisingly long-lived vegetable, although I ditched the stalks as they were rather... limp.)

1/2 lb bacon (yes!) pulled from the freezer

1 Tbs butter, also pulled from the freezer

Splashes of my all-time favorite pantry staples dry sherry (NOT the cooking kind - don't make me slap you) and Wooster Sauce (Worcestershire for those who can pronounce it). Add these splashes to 1/4 cup water (you can use all Sherry if you like - I know I do!)

Whole nutmeg - another pantry staple, of which I am now out. Dammit. (can we swear on this blog?)

Salt and Pepper to taste.

1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (that's right, Tillamook.)

This is not a quick meal, but it's super easy and totally comforting and yummy, which of course means it's also not very healthy. You got a problem with that? Go back to your carrot sticks then (mine were pretty slimy and also went into the compost.) The leftovers cube nicely and fry up with eggs (that are only 4 days past their sell-by date, fingers crossed against salmonella) for a very easy breakfast.

Stuffed Bakers

Inspiration: The only edible things left in my fridge

Time: 2 hours, including prep

Difficulty: Easy

Special Equipment: Not really. Well - a potato masher. But if you haven't got one of those, you're probably a communist.

Servings: 4

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Scrub potatoes thoroughly and pierce all over with a fork. Rub with olive oil and sprinkle with course sea salt if you like - this makes the potato skins crispy and the sea salt gives an added crunch that is divine. Bake for 1 hour, or until the potatoes are done. Attention! If you coat your potatoes in olive oil - put them on a baking sheet, for goodness' sake. Trust me. Portland fire-fighters are not that cute and they have no sense of humor.

3. While the potatoes bake, chop the bacon into 1/4" pieces and fry over medium low-heat in a large pan - I prefer cast iron. When the bacon is crisp (drain fat if necessary, you freaky health-nut commie) add the onion and cook, stirring frequently, until translucent. Turn up the heat to medium high and add the broccoli, tossing until everything is well coated. Add the garlic and cook until fragrant. When you can smell that lovely garlic-y, bacon-y aroma that I personally believe was the actual cause of the Trojan War, deglaze the pan with the Sherry/Wooster mix, scraping up those dark brown bacon bits. Continue to stir the mixture until all the liquid has evaporated. The broccoli should be just crisp-tender - it will finish cooking in the oven. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

4. When the potatoes are done, pull them from the oven and reduce the heat to 350. You can let them cool before handling, but I'm usually so damn hungry by then, I just fold a kitchen towel in half and use it to protect my delicate skin from the searing heat of the hot potato. Cut a window out of the top of the potato and using a spoon, scoop the flesh into a large bowl, leaving a 1/4" shell. Put the potato shells in a baking dish and set aside.

5. Add the 1 Tbs butter to the potato innards (What's that? Can you add more butter? Of course you can! Just remember, you're adding bacon fat as well, so I'd hold off for a moment if I were you. No - I am not turning into a health-nut. Back off). Then add about 9 or 10 gratings of the nutmeg (don't skip this - I think it's key to the recipe) and salt and pepper to taste - (remembering that we put salt in the broccoli mixture too). Now use your potato masher until everything is combined and fluffy. Stir in the broccoli mixture and incorporate thoroughly. Taste for seasoning and add more butter if you feel the mixture is too dry.

6. Stuff the potatoes using a large spoon. The filling will more than exceed the volume of the skins, so happily mound them up - they’ll look gorgeous. Top the potatoes with the cheese and bake for 30 minutes, or until the cheese is brown and bubbly. Let them cool a bit before eating... If you can.

Whew. I know - it seems like a lot of work. But try it! You’ll like it!

Hurricane "Chili"

When I lived in Miami, I always had a surplus of canned food (all of that paranoid purchasing during hurricane season). One evening, I had invited two friends over for dinner and - as it often happened in our neighborhood - six showed up. So, I rolled with the punches, cleaned out the cupboard, and created this "chili" of sorts. It's quick and dirty, works great as a burrito base (add guac, sour cream, and salsa: oh my), or just served in a bowl with grated (Tillamook sharp!) cheddar cheese. I always recommend a side of corn bread... if you don't want to make it from scratch, use the Trader Joe's cornbread mix; it's the best!

Inspiration: The dark recesses of my cupboard
Time: 15 minutes
Difficulty: Easy
Requirements: Shallow pot or sautee pan
Serving Size: 4 (Adjust proportions accordingly for those uninvited, but always welcome, guests)

Ingredients:

1 small onion (yellow or white), chopped
3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 tbs. olive oil
1 15oz. can black beans, drained
1 1/2 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp. chili powder
4 oz. can mild green chilies, drained and diced (can substitute chipotle)
15oz. can diced tomatoes, drained
15oz. can whole kernel corn
1 tsp. honey (optional)

In a shallow pot or sautee pan (I prefer the latter), sautee chopped onions in olive oil on medium heat until almost translucent. Add chopped garlic and cook for another minute. Mix in black beans, tomatoes, diced chilies, cumin and chili powder and let simmer for five minutes with the lid on, stirring occasionally. Add corn and cook for another five minutes with the lid off. If you're tomatoes are particularly acidic, add one teaspoon of honey. If the mixture is thin, let it sit for a couple of minutes before serving: it thickens up fast.

Serve with grated cheese, sour cream, guacamole... also makes a good dip for chips.

¡Buen provecho!

Grilled Flat bread Pizza

Boy do I heart me some summer time bbq's. Last night, my roommate Sara was kind enough to have a birthday to give us reason to grill. Given that I had a bit more warning than the last bbq, I planned ahead this time. That is to say, I stopped at the store on my way home. As i entered New Seasons, I didn't know what I wanted to grill. Most logical people would start at the butcher to help spark inspiration...Last night, I headed to the cheese department first. Humbolt fog, fresh mozzerella, dubliner. So many options. I settled on a quarter pound wedge of manchego, hoping it's mild yet nutty flavor would blend would lead to something good. On my way to the butcher, I saw some very interesting triangular flat bread. And there I had it. Add some caramelized onions, chorizon and spinich, and I would have a very tasty grilled flat bread pizza.


Inspiration: Triangular Norwegian potato flat bread
Time: 1 hour
Difficulty: Easy
Requirements: A really really big spatula
Servings: 14-18 mini pizzas

1 Onion, sliced thinly
1 tbs butter
1/2 lb bulk pork chorizo
1 small handfull of spinich leaves, chiffonade
1/4 lb manchego cheese, shreaded
10 pieces of flatbread, lightly brushed with olive oil

Saute onion in butter (if onion isn't very juicy, you may need to add more butter). When onion is golden and transparent, remove from pan and let sit. Saute chorizo until cooked through. To assemble pizzas, spread spinach evenly between flat bread, followed by chorizo, onions and topped with cheese. Heat grill, and over medium heat grill flat bread until chrispy on the bottom and cheese is melted. This does not take long. Do not wander far from the grill.