Stuffed Bakers

I have spent the last week in foodie bliss, enjoying the unrivaled culinary glories of the Bay Area and Napa Valley, California. I have eaten Xiao Long Bao so delicate and gingery, the taste lingered for hours on my tongue and I didn't care. (No. That's not gross.) I drank rich, nectar-y wines in the valley and got amazing deals because my mother-in-law, (who should NOT be allowed to drive in San Francisco. Ever.) works for a winery. And I enjoyed a mind-blowing and completely meat-free meal at Ubuntu and saved the smuggled bacon bits (just in case!) for the plane ride home. It was glorious, magical and totally satisfying.

May I just say, neener-neener-neener?

And now I have returned home to find the contents of my refrigerator resemble those surrealist paintings of the early 20th century that I recently viewed with avid delight at the SFMOMA -so colorful, so textured and so completely unidentifiable.

The fridge is now clean and sanitized (I had to bribe my husband) and I'm left with a handful of slightly wilted items and a grumbly belly. All that's left for dinner is the following:

4 large russet potatoes (sprouting eyes removed with the tip of my fingernail - you could use a serrated spoon too, I suppose.)

1 large onion, diced (leafy green center removed to the compost, post-haste)

1 clove garlic, chopped fine

2 medium heads of broccoli, florets chopped into 1/2" pieces (a surprisingly long-lived vegetable, although I ditched the stalks as they were rather... limp.)

1/2 lb bacon (yes!) pulled from the freezer

1 Tbs butter, also pulled from the freezer

Splashes of my all-time favorite pantry staples dry sherry (NOT the cooking kind - don't make me slap you) and Wooster Sauce (Worcestershire for those who can pronounce it). Add these splashes to 1/4 cup water (you can use all Sherry if you like - I know I do!)

Whole nutmeg - another pantry staple, of which I am now out. Dammit. (can we swear on this blog?)

Salt and Pepper to taste.

1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (that's right, Tillamook.)

This is not a quick meal, but it's super easy and totally comforting and yummy, which of course means it's also not very healthy. You got a problem with that? Go back to your carrot sticks then (mine were pretty slimy and also went into the compost.) The leftovers cube nicely and fry up with eggs (that are only 4 days past their sell-by date, fingers crossed against salmonella) for a very easy breakfast.

Stuffed Bakers

Inspiration: The only edible things left in my fridge

Time: 2 hours, including prep

Difficulty: Easy

Special Equipment: Not really. Well - a potato masher. But if you haven't got one of those, you're probably a communist.

Servings: 4

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Scrub potatoes thoroughly and pierce all over with a fork. Rub with olive oil and sprinkle with course sea salt if you like - this makes the potato skins crispy and the sea salt gives an added crunch that is divine. Bake for 1 hour, or until the potatoes are done. Attention! If you coat your potatoes in olive oil - put them on a baking sheet, for goodness' sake. Trust me. Portland fire-fighters are not that cute and they have no sense of humor.

3. While the potatoes bake, chop the bacon into 1/4" pieces and fry over medium low-heat in a large pan - I prefer cast iron. When the bacon is crisp (drain fat if necessary, you freaky health-nut commie) add the onion and cook, stirring frequently, until translucent. Turn up the heat to medium high and add the broccoli, tossing until everything is well coated. Add the garlic and cook until fragrant. When you can smell that lovely garlic-y, bacon-y aroma that I personally believe was the actual cause of the Trojan War, deglaze the pan with the Sherry/Wooster mix, scraping up those dark brown bacon bits. Continue to stir the mixture until all the liquid has evaporated. The broccoli should be just crisp-tender - it will finish cooking in the oven. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

4. When the potatoes are done, pull them from the oven and reduce the heat to 350. You can let them cool before handling, but I'm usually so damn hungry by then, I just fold a kitchen towel in half and use it to protect my delicate skin from the searing heat of the hot potato. Cut a window out of the top of the potato and using a spoon, scoop the flesh into a large bowl, leaving a 1/4" shell. Put the potato shells in a baking dish and set aside.

5. Add the 1 Tbs butter to the potato innards (What's that? Can you add more butter? Of course you can! Just remember, you're adding bacon fat as well, so I'd hold off for a moment if I were you. No - I am not turning into a health-nut. Back off). Then add about 9 or 10 gratings of the nutmeg (don't skip this - I think it's key to the recipe) and salt and pepper to taste - (remembering that we put salt in the broccoli mixture too). Now use your potato masher until everything is combined and fluffy. Stir in the broccoli mixture and incorporate thoroughly. Taste for seasoning and add more butter if you feel the mixture is too dry.

6. Stuff the potatoes using a large spoon. The filling will more than exceed the volume of the skins, so happily mound them up - they’ll look gorgeous. Top the potatoes with the cheese and bake for 30 minutes, or until the cheese is brown and bubbly. Let them cool a bit before eating... If you can.

Whew. I know - it seems like a lot of work. But try it! You’ll like it!